It’s almost MAY. Have you already abandoned your “New Year’s Resolutions” like me? I stopped setting New Year’s resolutions about a decade ago, but I still try to set some realistic goals. Heck, I even tried the “Word of the Year” a few times, just realizing that by the end of each year, my word ends up being “SURVIVE.”
Setting goals is a common practice for personal growth and development, but for neurodivergents, traditional goal-setting approaches may not always align with our unique strengths and challenges. I want to create a compassionate and empowering guide to setting goals without shame, tailored by us, and for us.
Understanding Neurodivergence:
It’s no surprise that we neurodivergents possess extraordinary talents, creativity, and unique perspectives. However, the “run of the mill” motivation Mondays and “never give up” attitudes of traditional goal setting can sometimes feel overwhelming and lead to feelings of shame or frustration. We have to embrace our authenticity so we gain a better understanding that the journey towards achieving goals might be different than the neurotypical Nancys of the world.
Embrace Neurodivergent Strengths:
The first way to do this is by acknowledging and celebrating our strengths! Whether it's hyperfocus, attention to detail, or creative thinking, understanding and leveraging these strengths can be the foundation for setting meaningful goals that make sense to you.
Break Goals into Manageable Steps:
I constantly talk about the benefits of breaking down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. It’s because it really helps in minimizing overwhelm and allows for a more focused and achievable path toward success. Creating a step-by-step plan can help navigate challenges associated with executive function, making the goal feel more attainable and less anxiety-inducing.
Utilize Visual Aids and Timelines:
Are you a Post-it note or planner person? There’s a reason for that! Visual aids and timelines can be powerful tools for our brains. Create visual representations of goals, timelines, and progress trackers to enhance clarity and provide a tangible sense of achievement. What doesn’t help is if we start shaming ourselves for not “sticking with” these tools. Do not shame yourself for getting bored with something or abandoning a strategy! It is in our nature as neurodivergents to shift and change as we make progress.
Embrace Flexibility:
We are in our FLEXIBLE ERA. Recognize that achieving goals may not always follow a linear path. We are known for choosing to follow our interests or the “butterflies” that show up on our path to goal achievement. That is okay. Embrace flexibility, adjust timelines if needed, and celebrate progress rather than focusing solely on the end result. This mindset shift fosters resilience and self-compassion.
Seek Support and Connection:
Setting goals and making progress cannot happen in a vacuum without any support from your friends and loved ones. Connect with like-minded individuals, join neurodivergent communities (like Hiki or the Accountable Otters Club!), or seek guidance from mentors who understand you. Shared experiences and support can be powerful motivators.
We are here, making real progress toward a more inclusive and compassionate approach to goal-setting, smashing shame all along the way. What would you add to this list?
Remember, every step forward is worthy of celebration, no matter how small.
